once upon a time i was falling in love, now i'm only falling apart . . .

Several weeks ago Vanessa asked me to explain the American electoral system while we were on the train. I did a questionable job. This is a lot clearer and, uh, less full of it.

Sean Astin whines for 300+ pages about Peter Jackson's refusal to take his story advice, having his scenes cut, not being nominated for an Oscar, the one time that Tim Robbins didn't return his phone call, and the fact that no one saw Rudy.

Tony Hawk = famous skateboarder and entrepreneur, video game star, recently sponsored by McDonald's
Tony Hawks = British comedian and author
Hundreds of people = unable to grasp the difference
As Tony Hawks answers Tony Hawk's e-mails, hilarity ensues. A sample:

hi tony!
cool u pleaze provide me with a crack 4 ur game?
yourule man!!!
you really rule a lot!!
gracias amigo!
Pakito.

Pakito,
I would happily supply you with some crack if I could get hold of any.
TH
PS. I don't rule that much. Only in Ecuador and a small island off Denmark. (I like to think of myself as a benevolent dictator)

Tony Hawk's McDonald's sponsorship brings to mind this KFC bag, which my housemate and I have cherished since its delivery to our apartment:


FRIED CHICKEN = X-TREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
Tonight Gentleman Reg, Controller.Controller, and The Organ play The Grad Club, which I will flee partway through to see the The Scrappy Bitch Tour.

This is frighteningly disjointed because
a) I haven't so much been with the sleeping lately (eg. since Monday), and
b) I have been very much with the "massive quantities of sugar and caffeine" lately

*Bonnie Tyler, "Total Eclipse of the Heart"