Wednesday, February 09, 2005

top 5 songs about rejection: avoid getting either myself or jenny lewis angry. i will steal your ice cream, and she will kill you.

Rilo Kiley - The Execution Of All Things
"I'm feeling badly: it's not an attempt at decency. And if you're well-off, well, then I'm happy some for you, but I'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you."

This song can be an excellent passive-aggressive weapon when placed in the right hands, ie. mine. (Technically, I guess any song would have worked, but the fact that it was this one just made it that much better.) Once upon an unpleasant time, I got myself into one of those classic and universally bad in-love-with-your-housemate situations. I earn extra points for stupidity for having known I felt that way long before I decided it would be an okay idea to live together. When I finally told the truth after a year-and-a-half, so did he, and it wasn't what I wanted to hear. He started seeing someone a week later. We shared a bedroom wall. You fill in the blanks.

One day she was over at our house, and I didn't particularly want her there. (I didn't particularly want him there either, but he was paying rent.) So, with my bedroom door considerately closed, I played "The Execution Of All Things" several times over, at increasingly loud volumes, until I had to plug my own ears and sit on the other side of my room from the speakers in order to tolerate the noise. They didn't say a thing to me, but left for her house a few minutes later. I WIN. I also dealt with the conflict in an incredibly mature manner. After he left, I may have eaten a bunch of his ice cream. I know I did that at least a couple of times.

Anyway, the song. It begins with a warped music box that melts into synthesizers and strings, until Jenny Lewis' voice enters all sugar-spice-and-everything-nice, and brings a filthy bassline with it. Now you've got an incredibly catchy, well-written indie pop song that later busts out some great guitar lines. I guess it's probably not "current" enough to get played on The O.C. or something; otherwise, it would be so hot right now. But the best part of the song is when you discover that it is actually about murdering every single living creature on earth, except for the perpetrator of some unknown crime against Ms. Lewis, because the entire point of the exercise is for him to suffer through the massacre until just the two of them are left, when he will finally also get murdered. This is the catchiest song you will ever hear about wanting to commit mass murder simply out of spite. It is the cyanide in your Almond Crunch ice cream. In short: AWESOME.

"Then we'll murder what matters to you and move on to your neighbours and kids, crush all hopes of happiness with disease 'cause of what you did. And lastly, you're all alone with nothing left but sleep - but sleep never comes to you, it's just the guilt and forever wakefulness of the weak. It's just you and me! The execution of all things!"