weddings: 1. funerals: 1. hugh grant sightings: 0.

This past weekend, I was an accident-prone bridesmaid for the wedding of my best friend from highschool. It was a lovely wedding, except for the fairly inappropriate toast by the father of the bride (hilarious, yes, but 'lovely', no), and the parts where I kept falling over and hurting myself. First, I fell backwards into a rock garden for no apparent reason while pictures were being taken, but only got a dirty, bruised butt (not pictured). The other bridesmaids and I went upstairs to clean my caboose off. The stairs back down were made out of natural slabs of rock and thus not the most even surface to be walking on in heels. I fell head-first down a flight of them, mangling 3/4s of my bouquet and a slightly smaller fraction of my body's surface area. Since the caterers hadn't arrived yet, there wasn't any ice, so I was forced to use bottles of cold beer.

I AM TOO EXTREME FOR WEDDINGS.

But congratulations to Alyssa & Jesse, and maybe there will be more pictures once they collect all the digital shots together. You would not believe what you can do with fruit carving these days. That is not a sarcastic statement.

All my adventures of late have involved forgetting to bring my camera, which isn't that big a deal because I take crappy pictures anyway. For instance, today I left my camera on my bed when my friend Anna and I went to have a picnic on Wolfe Island. While we were eating on the lawn of a Catholic church and talking about the coming school year, a fox came out of the bushes about twenty feet away and started scratching itself vigorously and grooming its fur with its teeth.

"I think this means either we're both going to have a FOXY year," I said, "or we're going to get fleas."

Back in Kingston, Anna had three "recycling bags" full of recycling, the trouble being that recycling bags are kosher in Nova Scotia but not Ontario, and their continued presence is not kosher with an approaching visit from her parents. So we carried the bags from her place to my apartment's recycling center like Captain Planet's disgruntled summer interns.


(No. They have to share the Heart ring.)