Saturday, December 03, 2005

boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny


("Artist's rendition" of the chalkboard in the QP earlier this week)

Today I went to the bank to pay my rent, which was indeed two days late -- not because I am broke but because I don't have any sense, any sense of time. On my way to the bank I was thinking that I need to set up automatic withdrawal of my rent from my bank account, because this is not the first time I've done this. But that was before The Cutest Bank Teller Evs, who made me very embarrassed that I had let myself go to the bank looking like I did a 100-yard dash in a 90-yard gym. He had a warm chuckle, and possibly a whimsical sweater, but I may have added that in lovestruck post-production. It was probably just a nice sweater, not a whimsical one. Forget automatic withdrawal -- I will not let my landlord or my credit rating stand in the way of our love, which I anticipate would be full of warm chuckles, and complaints about his facial hair. And for some reason, whatever I envision has an overwhelmingly green decorating scheme ... anyway, A+ in customer service for Chris from TD! Oh creepy.

After a week of school-related sleep deprivation, I slept for 12 hours last night (7 PM to 7 AM) and it was glorious. Also, according to this 200% GENIUS Black Table article linking violence in gangster rap to sleep deprivation, it may have prevented me from busting a cap in your ass:
In songs like Eminem's "6 in the Morning" and Avant's, um, "Six in the Morning," and in others by Nick Cannon, 2Pac, and Jay-Z, it's never over 'til six in the a.m., the hour at which everyone's Escalades presumably turn into pumpkins. When Christina Aguilera went hip hop, she bragged of being up 'til then in one song and then, in another, one-upped the entire hip hop community by keeping it popping til eight a.m ... In any case, whether it's six or eight in the morning ... it's easy to see why everyone knew LL Cool J had gone soft when he bragged on his comeback album of staying out 'til a school-girlish 1 a.m. in a track titled, what else, "1 in the Morning."
 
But would street violence really be put to rest if rappers didn't go around chugging Pimp Juice, Crunk!!!, Stinger, and DefCon 3 in order to get it on til the early morn? Well, just remember that Ice Cube didn't have to use his AK when "It Was A Good Day," and that's because that day ended at a reasonable 2 a.m. with a sobering, delicious Fatburger. He was "drunk as hell but no throwing up," and he didn't answer his pager although it was still blowing up. After all, who could be calling at that hour?